I was really happy to read both the chapters for this week. It made me feel good because they discussed all the things that I've been concerned about my entire life. I feel that I am one of those low-prejudice people that has been in the middle of an awkward situation because I was scared that I would say something wrong or that a black person would think I was implying something that I wasn't. White people need to work not to place negative judgement on a Black person, or any other person of color, but the same goes the other way. It's hard to do anything good when you feel you are being negatively judged all the time. Like Tatum said, we need to talk to each other. We all need to know where others are coming from so that we can all understand what others mannerisms really mean. Some people's intentions are good, but their body language is interpreted as negative when all they are trying to do is act positively. I also feel exactly the way one of the White woman in Tatum's chapter does, that it feel so go to talk about race and racism. It feels good, but this class is the first time in my life where I'm in a situation to talk about race freely. I've been talking to my friends about race a lot, because it feels good, but I wouldn't have known how good it feels if I wasn't in this class. How many White people on this campus feel the way I do? No one knows because race isn't talked about. Of course, I know that this isn't a new realization, but I feel it's important to keep stating it.

This past weekend a friend of mine reminded me of a thought that I forgot I used to ask myself everyday: How do blacks expect me to know what to do or think when I observe from Black people isn't real? I didn't know that Black people's hair wasn't naturally straight. I think that the hair Black people get in a salon is beautiful, but it's not because it looks more like "white hair." I also love the way Black people's natural hair looks like, but my point is that I didn't know what the naturals hair looks like until college.

Everything comes back to talking to each other. There's no end to what people can learn by talking. Everyone places judgement of everyone else, but it doesn't have to be negative judgement. I don't want to deny everything that I've read about in class, I just don't want anyone to forget about those White people would mean well but just don't know somethings, with no fault of their own.

Over spring break I went home to Ann Arbor and I decided to do a general survey to see if my original thoughts about the racial diversity was what I thought it was before college. I spent some time on umich campus and I noticed what I thought was there all along, a lot of Asians mix in with Caucasians, Indians and Middle Easterners. Granite, the campus in more diverse than the city, but this is where things become interesting. The umich campus is intertwined with the city. It's not like here where you can tell that you are off campus because suddenly the building look different and there is no longer any grass to walk passed. Michigan's campus stretching the entire city. It's also not like large campuses in a big city, because Ann Arbor has a town feel to it. In fact, most people think of it as a town because the only reason it's considered a city is that the number of people living there categorizing it as such. Anyways, my point is that because the campus is spread out, the fact that the campus is more diverse than the year round residents doesn't matter. When I heard the word downtown at my high school I knew that the reference wasn't towards the official downtown on Main Street, but the strip of State Street on Central campus. There have always been reasons for parents to take there children to central campus: there are local restaurants, theater, festivals, art, literary reading, concerts (both instrumental and singing (Lutacirs preformed six or so years ago)), and great grassy areas to hang out on. Of course, what I observed is bias because I grew up in Ann Arbor, but I also feel that my observations are ligate. I'm not saying that Ann Arbor doesn't have it's own set of race problems, but growing up being able to observe verity is a great first step to being able to fight off stereotypes of other races besides your own.

I also observe what types of people I ran into while not on campus. I have doctors appointments last week and noticed that all my doctors at the hospital were none white. I know that this doesn't speak for everyone in Ann Arbor and that there are more White doctors than not, but again I think there is a similar effect at the hospital than there is on campus. The university hospital is really good, and attracts people to go to it from all over the world. There's not a lot of diversity at the hospital, but there is enough that I would never be able to say that I noticed a none white because they stick out amongst all the White people.

In-direct benefits of Affrimative Action

A few days ago I had a conversation about affirmative action with a friend of mine and then when I reading the readings for tomorrow's class it hit home. My friend is a feminists advocate and she told me that she doesn't like affirmative action because she doesn't want to be accepted somewhere just because she is a woman. I gave her that, but also said that it is unfortunate that affirmative action is still needed, but I believe that it is.

This memory got me thinking about all the things I've benefited from affirmative action. The main one is that my middle school and both my high school principles were Black men. Of course, the benefit wasn't realized until recently, but I benefited from it nonetheless. I was able to grow up knowing that there is no difference in performance between people of different races. Of course, my positive feelings were backed up by the fact that my principles were also really really good at their jobs. In middle school my mom and the principle meet at the end of every year to discuss my accommodations and to talk about my performance in school over all. In short, he was very involved with the students and really cared for them and their success. In high school, the first principle had the same approach to his job. All the students love that he was the principle and I'm remembering all the great things I heard from teachers close to me.

When I was in 11th grade there was a dispute over the qualifications for the National Honor Society. Some of the administrators wanted to lower the GPA requirements from a 3.8 to a 3.4 (I believe). Basically, the students didn't want the change because it would defeat the purpose on the club and the administration want the change so that more people could be included. My principle took the student's side. Unfortunately, because he stood up against the administration he was "fired." It's interesting that the following year the sub-principle was also Black.

The situation with my high school principle was not about race in anyway, shape, or form, and that is the benefit I got from it. I was unaware how unusual it is to have all Black principles growing up. I was witnessing that race really doesn't matter. I wonder what would be different if I didn't have Black principles. I can only assume that affirmative action helped them get hired. Assuming this I, a privileged white woman, would have never had what I do to look back on. Although still a small percentage, I would not have experienced Black people as the boss. I would have only seen it done on shows, such as Law and Order. I guess the goes back on exposing children to more than what they receive from the media. Making sure that they see more than just White people doing positive things in life, not just the people in the background; the people that "don't matter." My principles are only known by the local community, but they mattered (they still matter) and I'm beginning to realize how much the issue of race factors into my experience and the situations as a whole.

Last night there were two roberies at two different Family Video places which occured at 8:30pm. I was surprized by my first thought: an image of a white male I've seen work there having a gun pointed at him. My second thought was "I wonder if the robers are black?" I quickly thought to myself that there is a much better chance that the robers were white, high school aged, guys.

My own thinking about the inccident last night got me thinking. I wonder what all the students at IWU thought/thinking when they hear this story. How are people going to hear about this, what are the rumers going to be and how are the rumbers going to be told. This campus is supposed to be full of very educated people, but I need to remind myself that this fact doesn't matter when it comes to racism. I've tend to think that if you are educated you know the false assumptions that our soceity has created. But, since taking this class, I've begun to change that thinking. I know how clueless people can be (and are) about the issue of racism. Half way through the semester, though, I still automatically think that if your educated you know how big of an issue racism is.

If the robers, last night, are black I wonder how much of a set back will that be in the area. How many people in this community would take this inncedent as proof that black people are dangerous and bad? and how many people are going to just say "that's to bad" (or something along those lines)? And if the robers are white how long will it take for everyone in the area to lrean that they are white?

As I was typing the paragraph above I realized that I was writing about black and white people, even though I know that there are other races living in the community. I guess this is just another example of how the educated self can go aganist other parts of yourself.