I have felt as though I have been accused of being a resist before and it pains me to think that there are people who think that. I try to be aware of what I say and I differently couldn’t tell you what I said that would make people think that, but they have in the past. There are two things that bother me the most about this. One, I know what it feels like to be judged for something that is a part of me because I have both a mental and physical disability. I know what it feels like to have to prove myself, so I can relate to victims of racism in that sense. I remember that first time I was an obvious victim of discrimination because it happened my first year at college. I was told the comment “people who don’t do well don’t work hard; people who aren’t as accomplished as myself haven’t worked as hard.” To drive this in further I’ve hard, from the same person “I’m doing better than [a friend at home] because I’m finishing college in three years, not five.”
The other reason why being accused of a racist act is so hurtful is because I know the statistics, I grew up knowing that mid-aged white men are the most common serial killers. If fact, I’ve realize that I get worried when a middle-aged white man is walking toward me or behind me much more than I get worried about anyone else. I that it’s the recourses that some people don’t have available to them that gets in the way of their ability to achieve certain things in the same amount of time as someone who was privileged enough to have better resources. And I have always wanted to use my privilege to help those that don’t.
There are just a handful of people out in the world who look for discrimination and I know they don’t represent the general population, but I fear those people. I think I fear them because I’m afraid others will listen to just those few.