Over the weekend I watched "save the last dance" for the first time in years and I noticed somethings that I've never thought about, when watching/thinking about this film. The entire movie deals with the racial complex that Chicago is known for: a white girl moves in with her father after her mother is killed in a car accident. Her father lives in one of the poorer areas of the city and the girl (Sara) attends a public school where the majority of her classmates are Black. The movie is all about Sara trying to find her place in life.

Because of the dynamic of her school Sara is constantly finding herself in situations dealing with race. I personally think that the film does a really good job making things realistic when it comes to the environment and the behavior of the characters.

Although the environment is racially motivated from beginning to end, there is one really interesting scene, towards the beginning: the cafeteria. As predicted, most of the tables are full of Black people, but there is one table in the middle that is full of White people. It is the "Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?" reverse. But it makes sense, the few White kids at the school are obviously going to sit together because they understand each other and connect in a way that the other kids can't because the other kids are Black.

I also like the way the film deals with the ideas about Black people. There is a verity of different types of people; the druggies, the violent (gun owning) kids, the college aspiring kids, and many things in between. The film has both the stereotyped Black person and the non-stereotyped. However, I feel as though the actions of the different characters is secondary to the underlying, real issue; how the students react to the messages they are feed about themselves. You find out toward the end that the one Black character (Malick) whom has been in and out of jail for violent acts thinks that he can be nothing more than he is now. He doesn't think that he can go to college and make a god life for himself. At one point, right before he goes to a shot out, he says that he is trying to protected the one thing his has, his dignity. He uses his gun to get respect.

I could go on and on, but there are a lot of characters. To me, I feel sad for Malick. He doesn't feel good about himself, and now that I've taken this course I know why; we are to assume (from the film) that he has been feed the message that Black people aren't as good as White people and the Blacks people who are successful are a rarity. I wish I could get everyone who thinks this a god talking to a say that this is not a fact, it is a lie. That they can be who ever, even though there are people in the world you try to convince you otherwise. Not the most original and much easier said then done, but the truth.

I'm really glad that I watched this movie at the end of the semester because there is a lot more that I can appresiate that I wouldn't have been able to at the beginning.

So, I just had my moment to confront a person who said a racist comment and I did and didn't take it. The person who said this is a junior in high school and is at the iwu for a college visit. She said "I'm scared that the Black people will pull out a gun and shot," or something to that effect. Her mom was with us and I got the feeling that everyone, including the mother, was surprised that the girl said what she did. I struggled a lot to figure out how to responded. I knew what I wanted to say, but we were all having a really good time walking around town and if I started an argument I would have been blamed, maybe even "attacked" for ruining the afternoon of fun. I knew I should say something, but I was still hesitant. I ended up saying, "you have a lot to learn, that's all I'll say." I don't know if I'm happy with what I said or not, but I re-realized how difficult it is to know what to do.

I knew that if I said something more that I would have ruined the fun that the group was having, but I also don't think that is an excuse. Timing is a huge issue when it comes to situations like this. My big thing was that this girl wasn't a friend that I've known for a while, she was a prospective student. I was trying to present a nice and positive image. I know I would have reacted differently if she was a friend and I think I would have reacted differently if she was a student here. I hope I would react differently if she was a college student here.

I believe that one of the best things that people can do to decrease racism is talk, but I don't think that talking casually is enough. Some times the right environment has to be created. Like with every other subject, there are appropriate and inappropriate times to talk about racism, even when talking about why something someone said was racist.

I was really happy to read both the chapters for this week. It made me feel good because they discussed all the things that I've been concerned about my entire life. I feel that I am one of those low-prejudice people that has been in the middle of an awkward situation because I was scared that I would say something wrong or that a black person would think I was implying something that I wasn't. White people need to work not to place negative judgement on a Black person, or any other person of color, but the same goes the other way. It's hard to do anything good when you feel you are being negatively judged all the time. Like Tatum said, we need to talk to each other. We all need to know where others are coming from so that we can all understand what others mannerisms really mean. Some people's intentions are good, but their body language is interpreted as negative when all they are trying to do is act positively. I also feel exactly the way one of the White woman in Tatum's chapter does, that it feel so go to talk about race and racism. It feels good, but this class is the first time in my life where I'm in a situation to talk about race freely. I've been talking to my friends about race a lot, because it feels good, but I wouldn't have known how good it feels if I wasn't in this class. How many White people on this campus feel the way I do? No one knows because race isn't talked about. Of course, I know that this isn't a new realization, but I feel it's important to keep stating it.

This past weekend a friend of mine reminded me of a thought that I forgot I used to ask myself everyday: How do blacks expect me to know what to do or think when I observe from Black people isn't real? I didn't know that Black people's hair wasn't naturally straight. I think that the hair Black people get in a salon is beautiful, but it's not because it looks more like "white hair." I also love the way Black people's natural hair looks like, but my point is that I didn't know what the naturals hair looks like until college.

Everything comes back to talking to each other. There's no end to what people can learn by talking. Everyone places judgement of everyone else, but it doesn't have to be negative judgement. I don't want to deny everything that I've read about in class, I just don't want anyone to forget about those White people would mean well but just don't know somethings, with no fault of their own.

Over spring break I went home to Ann Arbor and I decided to do a general survey to see if my original thoughts about the racial diversity was what I thought it was before college. I spent some time on umich campus and I noticed what I thought was there all along, a lot of Asians mix in with Caucasians, Indians and Middle Easterners. Granite, the campus in more diverse than the city, but this is where things become interesting. The umich campus is intertwined with the city. It's not like here where you can tell that you are off campus because suddenly the building look different and there is no longer any grass to walk passed. Michigan's campus stretching the entire city. It's also not like large campuses in a big city, because Ann Arbor has a town feel to it. In fact, most people think of it as a town because the only reason it's considered a city is that the number of people living there categorizing it as such. Anyways, my point is that because the campus is spread out, the fact that the campus is more diverse than the year round residents doesn't matter. When I heard the word downtown at my high school I knew that the reference wasn't towards the official downtown on Main Street, but the strip of State Street on Central campus. There have always been reasons for parents to take there children to central campus: there are local restaurants, theater, festivals, art, literary reading, concerts (both instrumental and singing (Lutacirs preformed six or so years ago)), and great grassy areas to hang out on. Of course, what I observed is bias because I grew up in Ann Arbor, but I also feel that my observations are ligate. I'm not saying that Ann Arbor doesn't have it's own set of race problems, but growing up being able to observe verity is a great first step to being able to fight off stereotypes of other races besides your own.

I also observe what types of people I ran into while not on campus. I have doctors appointments last week and noticed that all my doctors at the hospital were none white. I know that this doesn't speak for everyone in Ann Arbor and that there are more White doctors than not, but again I think there is a similar effect at the hospital than there is on campus. The university hospital is really good, and attracts people to go to it from all over the world. There's not a lot of diversity at the hospital, but there is enough that I would never be able to say that I noticed a none white because they stick out amongst all the White people.

In-direct benefits of Affrimative Action

A few days ago I had a conversation about affirmative action with a friend of mine and then when I reading the readings for tomorrow's class it hit home. My friend is a feminists advocate and she told me that she doesn't like affirmative action because she doesn't want to be accepted somewhere just because she is a woman. I gave her that, but also said that it is unfortunate that affirmative action is still needed, but I believe that it is.

This memory got me thinking about all the things I've benefited from affirmative action. The main one is that my middle school and both my high school principles were Black men. Of course, the benefit wasn't realized until recently, but I benefited from it nonetheless. I was able to grow up knowing that there is no difference in performance between people of different races. Of course, my positive feelings were backed up by the fact that my principles were also really really good at their jobs. In middle school my mom and the principle meet at the end of every year to discuss my accommodations and to talk about my performance in school over all. In short, he was very involved with the students and really cared for them and their success. In high school, the first principle had the same approach to his job. All the students love that he was the principle and I'm remembering all the great things I heard from teachers close to me.

When I was in 11th grade there was a dispute over the qualifications for the National Honor Society. Some of the administrators wanted to lower the GPA requirements from a 3.8 to a 3.4 (I believe). Basically, the students didn't want the change because it would defeat the purpose on the club and the administration want the change so that more people could be included. My principle took the student's side. Unfortunately, because he stood up against the administration he was "fired." It's interesting that the following year the sub-principle was also Black.

The situation with my high school principle was not about race in anyway, shape, or form, and that is the benefit I got from it. I was unaware how unusual it is to have all Black principles growing up. I was witnessing that race really doesn't matter. I wonder what would be different if I didn't have Black principles. I can only assume that affirmative action helped them get hired. Assuming this I, a privileged white woman, would have never had what I do to look back on. Although still a small percentage, I would not have experienced Black people as the boss. I would have only seen it done on shows, such as Law and Order. I guess the goes back on exposing children to more than what they receive from the media. Making sure that they see more than just White people doing positive things in life, not just the people in the background; the people that "don't matter." My principles are only known by the local community, but they mattered (they still matter) and I'm beginning to realize how much the issue of race factors into my experience and the situations as a whole.

Last night there were two roberies at two different Family Video places which occured at 8:30pm. I was surprized by my first thought: an image of a white male I've seen work there having a gun pointed at him. My second thought was "I wonder if the robers are black?" I quickly thought to myself that there is a much better chance that the robers were white, high school aged, guys.

My own thinking about the inccident last night got me thinking. I wonder what all the students at IWU thought/thinking when they hear this story. How are people going to hear about this, what are the rumers going to be and how are the rumbers going to be told. This campus is supposed to be full of very educated people, but I need to remind myself that this fact doesn't matter when it comes to racism. I've tend to think that if you are educated you know the false assumptions that our soceity has created. But, since taking this class, I've begun to change that thinking. I know how clueless people can be (and are) about the issue of racism. Half way through the semester, though, I still automatically think that if your educated you know how big of an issue racism is.

If the robers, last night, are black I wonder how much of a set back will that be in the area. How many people in this community would take this inncedent as proof that black people are dangerous and bad? and how many people are going to just say "that's to bad" (or something along those lines)? And if the robers are white how long will it take for everyone in the area to lrean that they are white?

As I was typing the paragraph above I realized that I was writing about black and white people, even though I know that there are other races living in the community. I guess this is just another example of how the educated self can go aganist other parts of yourself.

Over the weekend I heard a story that really surprised me. Last year at Miami University in Ohio there was an art student who did a project outdoors. He wanted to represent life and death using objects hanging from a tree. This student decided to use a swing to represent life (youth) and a nose to represent death. What followed from this display was an offended reaction from the community, but the students didn't get why a nose hanging from a tree was so offensive. They were sure why it was there, but they didn't get why it was so bad. What's even worse is that the art student who put the nose in the tree didn't get it either. This student never made the connection between the nose and all the images of lynching I'm sure he was feed in his previous school years. When I heard about the project I thought how powerful it could be. No matter what it would make people feel uncomfortable, especially the black community, but as a work on art I feel that would be okay. It would get people thinking and talking to one another about a topic that most like to avoid. Basically, there is an endless number of reactions you can get by hanging a nose from a tree; it is a very powerful project that could be taken in many different directions. However, the artist didn't know what he was really doing which meant that he got a reaction that he wasn't expecting.

I'm not completely sure what to make of this story. I think I'm a little shocked because I'm now primed to think of lynching from the class. It surprised me that there were so many college students who didn't understand what that nose meant and why it was offensive. I'm not sure what population these college students represent more, that particularly community of students or the more general population of students around the country. I always thought that the history of lynching and the images were common knowledge by now, but I don't know anymore because if it were I would expect the students to be able to make a connection between the history and the project of this one art student. I would also expect that art student to make the connection himself. Because of this ignorance level there is a lot more work and much more thought that needs to go into communicating that needs to happen to the public, much more that I thought.

Beauty

Every since Sunday I haven't stopped thinking about Soul Food dinner and things that Dick Gregory said. In particular, there was a comment made about the black persons hair. How it is naturally "natty" and how people have died from the bleach used to color it. I can tell anyone who asked why Blacks spend so much time changing their hair (society has feed them messages about what pretty hair looks like) from an educated point of view. But I still don't fully understand why my generation does take a stronger stand and change the image of beautiful hair. For me, it wasn't until recently that I learn what natural black hair looked like. I, and many other Whites, thought that the straighted look was natural because that is all I saw. I didn't even see natural black hair until my later years of high school. How are Whites supposed to change what they see as beautiful hair if they don't see anything but the chemically changed hair. Personal, when I first saw natural Black hair I thought how beautiful it was. I'm not trying to say that all Black people should wear their hair naturally, many Whites change their hair in similar ways whether it's because they think their hair is "not pretty" or whether it's because they feel their natural hair is "not tamable."

At this point, I feel that the reasons to change one's hair is a fashionable thing and nothing more. Meaning for many the core reasons are unknown. I'm not trying to say that there aren't many cases where Blacks have heard negative comments made about their hair and I know that everything I have said is a lot easier to say than it is to take action on. I guess I just wish that Blacks could stop feeling the pressure to change their hair and wear it the way they want to, not the way society has told them to wear their hair.

All this makes me think of comments that have been made about my own hair. Apparently I have the blond hair that so many people try to create, so I should never tie my hair. I've also had comments made about the way my hair is naturally wavy and that others wish they too had wavy hair. While Blacks are given complements on how beautiful their hair when they change it, I get compliments when I don't. I feel pressure not to change my hair.

This whole hair thing is just one example about what is considered beautiful and what is not. I wish that the standards of beauty could be easily change, but I know how hard it is to change it. The standard of beauty is always changing, it just takes a very long time

When I was reading "The Model Minority" I couldn't help but think of all the kids I went to high school with. There were a lot of Asians in my school and the ones I knew all had parents who highly valued grades and expected the straight As. This expectancy from the parents is a culture thing and helps the myth exist. But, there are also parents like that in other cultures and among all the races in America. If the parents aren't happy unless their children are getting straight As, then those children are going to work hard all the time, assuming that they want to please their parents. I guess my point is that the parents expectation is really, but not unique to Asian Americans.

The other thing that was common among the Asian American students at my school was that a lot of them were good artists. Few of them wanted to be artists, but they were good for self-taught. As a matter of fact they were good at everything they did in school. They were just good students. Of course, I generalizing and falling under the myth. There were Asian Americans who fell under the average and some who needed tutors after school in order to get a descent grade. But, the majority of the Asians I know were really smart good at school. I don't think that their being good students made them smarter, I feel that their being good students made them good at worker with the school system. Again this is something that is not unique to Asian Americans.

There are many different ways of learning and there is always going to be a population of students, in every race and culture, that learn really well and fast in the school system. Some of these students go on to do really well and some don't because they just learned how to work the school system, not real life.

I have always been interested with the part of the myth that all Asians are good at math and science. What I find interesting is that these are the subjects that are best translated through different languages. I would love to read a detailed study that talks about this fact. Maybe it's not take Asians are naturally better at math and science, but that the first generation immigrates pick up of it better because it is easier to understand. Subjects such as language are really hard to have a full understanding of in any language, even some one's native language. If the parents are good at math and science, then their children are going to grow up having better understanding of these subjects because they have parents who can help them. These isn't a race thing, it's a nurture thing. I know more about language, the history and structure than most kids my age because I have two English professors as parents.

When I was reading Tatum this past week there was a section that really hit me. It's on page 38 and says: "Johnathan told me that someone at school had said that he was Black. 'Am I Black?' he asked me. 'Yes, you are.' I replied. ' But my skin is brow.' he said. I was instantly reminded of my own preschool 'I'm not black, I'm tan' argument at this point. 'Yes,' I said, 'your skin is brown, but Black is a term that people use to describe African Americans, just like White is used to describe people who came from Europe.'"

Of course Tatum is right because everywhere else you think of a white people living was concurred by Britain. But when does Europe and Africa stop being where people came from. We don't know where the people from Europe got to that location, and therefore don't say the Europeans came from so and so. It's very important to know history, but when a person is not teaching history and not talking to a little kid is it really right to say that Blacks come from Africa and Whites come from Europe?

I don't think Tatum is saying this, it just got me thinking. I reminds me of an experience I had in high school. It involved a Black girl saying that she didn't like to be called an African America. She wanted to be called a Nigerian. I've always been one to call people want they want to be called, but she after she said this she didn't think twice before calling people White or European. Some people wouldn't have a problem, but others want to be referred to by the country they come from, not the continent. This girl was one of them and I think if you are someone who is challenging others you should be curious and open to other interpretations.

The Tatum section also got me thinking about a friend I have who immigrated from South Africa. She is White, but she doesn't consider herself to come from Europe. She is a South African. This reminder brings me to my question, when do we stop referring to where people came from as though it was a different place? This applies very directly to the fact that a lot of Americans have been referred to as foreign because of the way they look. When is that going to stop?

Over the weekend I watched the HBO series, John Adams and towards the end there was a scene depicting the White House being built. I, obviously, couldn't help but think about Obama, his inauguration speech, and the fact that he is our President. But what I admired the most was the attention given to the fact that the White House was built by slaves. Abigael Adams did not like slavery and was a supporter of the idea of putting an anti-slavery law in the Constitution. Of course that didn't happen, but the series made it very clear that she was unhappy. Because the series was also realistic it also showed how bad the conditions were where the slaves worked and lived during construction. Because the series was about John Adams life there wasn't a huge about of attention given to the lives of slaves, but I was very happy with the way the slaves were predicted when they were in the show. It wasn't pleasant to see them, but it was good. It brought home the message Tatum is saying about it's ok to be uncomfortable and everything.

Language

Language has always been important to me. I think it has to do with the fact that it's something I've always struggled with. I've taken Spanish classes since my freshman year in high school and I still can't speak it. I envy those who can. My sister has spent the past several years traveling to Spanish speaking places and can know speak it well. She has even dreamt in Spanish before. I hate it that there are races who have been dined an education in languages besides English. I wish language came more easily to me; aside from my wish to speak a second language, I would love for my native English language to come more easily for me. I have grown up knowing the influence language has on the way people think and I find that fascinating. Everyone could lean so much about the world if they understood it from more than one language. Discouraging the use of multiple languages makes no sense to me. I find the most impressive people to be those who speak multiple languages. Plus other languages are so cool to listen to. There's something about not understanding a language that allows me to pay close attention to the way it flows and the way a person's mouth moves when she is speaking. I think it would be great to hear people speak many languages all over the U.S., but that isn't the reality because many people don't know how to speak anything besides English. For me, I don't like to compare this country to other's, because those other countries have a different history than America does. America is supposed to be a country full of people from all over the world. While no one can prevent time from passing and things from changing, we should encourage everyone to live a speak the same. That's not the way Americans, white Americans, like to think of their country (as uniform), but that's the way it has become. I guess the language problem is just another example of the way white Americans have contradicted themselves.

The same thing can be said for the No Child Left Behind Act. Bush said that the act is what it says, no child will be left behind. But what about all those kids who aren't good test takers? There are many reasons why a child wouldn't do well on a standardized test. Learning disabilities is the reason why I don't do well on tests. But if a child comes from background where learning to skill of test taking isn't on the top of the list, they aren't going to do well on a test either. I'm not trying to say that tests are all bad, but the standardized tests have proven to not predict as many things as they were designed to predict. It also discriminates against people who have a lot more than their race to hold them back in the system that has been created. In Class in America: Myths and Realities, there is a lot of discussion about the assumptions out in the world about the opportunities people have in this country. Well, the No Child Left Behind Act is assuming that test taking is a nature skill all humans prosess when in reality it is a skill that is taught and one that takes years to prefect.

I have felt as though I have been accused of being a resist before and it pains me to think that there are people who think that. I try to be aware of what I say and I differently couldn’t tell you what I said that would make people think that, but they have in the past. There are two things that bother me the most about this. One, I know what it feels like to be judged for something that is a part of me because I have both a mental and physical disability. I know what it feels like to have to prove myself, so I can relate to victims of racism in that sense. I remember that first time I was an obvious victim of discrimination because it happened my first year at college. I was told the comment “people who don’t do well don’t work hard; people who aren’t as accomplished as myself haven’t worked as hard.” To drive this in further I’ve hard, from the same person “I’m doing better than [a friend at home] because I’m finishing college in three years, not five.”
The other reason why being accused of a racist act is so hurtful is because I know the statistics, I grew up knowing that mid-aged white men are the most common serial killers. If fact, I’ve realize that I get worried when a middle-aged white man is walking toward me or behind me much more than I get worried about anyone else. I that it’s the recourses that some people don’t have available to them that gets in the way of their ability to achieve certain things in the same amount of time as someone who was privileged enough to have better resources. And I have always wanted to use my privilege to help those that don’t.
There are just a handful of people out in the world who look for discrimination and I know they don’t represent the general population, but I fear those people. I think I fear them because I’m afraid others will listen to just those few.

I don’t remember when I first faced race, but I do remember when the University of Michigan fought affirmative action. I had always thought it was a necessary thing, but I quickly learned that not everyone agreed with me. The reason that I found most interesting was that affirmative action disadvantaged white students because of their race. I had never thought of it that way and I still think affirmative action is necessary, but isn’t that exactly the effect affirmative action has? It disadvantages white students by giving colored students a leg up because of what a piece of paper says they look like. This thought makes me react by saying “Well, how does it fell?” Maybe it’s good thing that some people who have never had to face the issue of race in a negative way have an experience with it. But does it really help anything if those white students who feel discriminated against don’t understand why? There are some people who know the history behind affirmative action, but they don’t know why or don’t believe that it is necessary any more. Can you put them in the same group as those who think racism is in the past and doesn’t have anything to do with us today?